Ah that "thing in the middle"...

This is the blog post I should have made last week!

Due to an unforeseen and totally annoying HUGE head cold (as rudely shared by passengers seated behind us in the airplane) T and I spent a miserable week (last) recovering and trying to sleep through most of it! (I am SO over air travel.)

Flanders on the way to beach

T and I flew to Brussels for an long weekend last week (Depart Corfu 3 November; Return 7 November).  It was long time overdue to catch up with my cousins and my 93 year old Aunt Marie-Louise, (my mother's elder and only sister).

along the brislam

I also had a little "bit of my mother" that I wanted to leave in Belgium, preferably in the North Sea, which she loved, near her favorite childhood seaside resort, Blankenberge.

iconic pier in Blankenberge

                                                                                                                            Needless to say it was also a fine opportunity to savor Belgian cooking as well as catch up with the newest family addition baby Simon, born on the 29th of July while I was in the USA.

We had a surprisingly good time, with many shared and funny memories of our childhoods - my cousin and me from our first meeting when I was 5 and he was 8, through all the years in between.

me and my cousin

After my father died in 1959, I would fly to Belgium every summer after the school term ended and spend the three months of summer vacation living in the brownstone in Anderlecht with my Grandmother and Grandfather, while my aunt and uncle and cousin lived in the apartment upstairs and another great-aunt lived on the top floor apartment.

My summer would pass spending my days waiting for my cousin, Ray to finish school so we could "play" (mostly we tried to understand eachother as I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out what everyone was saying- in French!), driving my grandmother crazy, and reading American novels left by my mother on previous trips, until I discovered the bookstore in the city that sold English books and blew through all my pocket money!

ON the weekends, we'd all of us, go to the local cafe, to meet with friends and more distant family members,, and my cousin and I would play cards or as we got older, go to the movies.

one of the three apartments I remember

Some time over the weekend, usually Sunday, my aunt and uncle would take my cousin and me for an educational drive, to see the sights of Belgium, and of course have a good meal along the way!

Always for the month of August the family would rent an apartment in Blankenberge and every day would be spent "taking the air" bathing in the sea, and enjoying the seaside atmosphere.

lovely view to eat by!

In the great tradition of "all that came before", we had a great lunch in a super seaside restaurant built on the same (used to be a bit more humble) spot.

oh the yum...

Of course we had to have fish and I had to have Sole Meuniere with Frites.

T had cabillaud (fresh cod) with a marvelous and very traditional Belgian butter and cream sauce. (yes the arteries groan, but the taste is putting you at the gate of heaven!)

After lunch we had to walk a bit and wandered to the opposite side of the beach away from the pier to the channel that goes to the port.

no more fishing boats

There were more childhood memories, of my cousin and I getting up early to meet the fishing boats and talking the fisherman into sharing a couple of freshly cooked crabs wrapped in newspapers. (they'd boil them in a big pot, right in the boat for their fisherman's  breakfast!)

Now there are almost no more fishing boats, just luxury yachts and power boats.

Still lovely but not the same.

the cheeses

the charcuterie

We came home to my cousins house,  just in time to sit down for another, simpler, but amazingly delicious meal then went back (groaning) to our little hotel.








We stayed at the quirky little Hotel Centrum in Beersel .

the breakfast room

the coffee tea corner

It's a very odd little place, but it was clean enough, the room was big and we had a small ensuite bathroom. Breakfast was OK and the coffee was freshly made and my tea was hot.  Best of all, it was close (5 minutes!) to my cousins house.

The rest of the weekend passed in a haze of exchanging wonderful memories, eating excellent food and all the while with a warm family all around.  (Oh.   And there was wine.  I didn't talk about the wine and it was delicious and plentiful.  Did I mention the wine?  My liver is still recovering.)

taking in La Grand-Place

Taverne du Passage

We went into the city on Saturday, and shopped a bit and had a beer on the Grand Place then went on to a classic and favorite restaurant Taverne du Passage, in the Galeries Royales St Hubert.

There we again ate and drank marvelously (but we were having such a good time I forgot to take pictures!)  served by excellent and long time waiters.  I had a simple Steak-Frites and it was amazing.  T had a Sole, my cousins had Choucroute, an Alsatian dish of Sauerkraut, sausages and ham, made with a Belgian twist.

Sunday we had a big family gathering and my cousin Maryse prepared a wonderful Carbonnade - a  great Belgian Beef and Beer stew. (which I make several times every winter!)  We finished it off with delicacies from the bakery...  After which, I almost fell asleep in my coffee!

Ray and Arsène

my aunt and Simon (& me)

Benoit, Jenny and Melissa

Jeremy and Jenny

La Dessert

wherein I almost fell asleep

saying au revior

We flew out of Brussels at around noon and were home again in Corfu by 7 pm.

Then we got sick and went to bed for a few days and didn't remember to call my granddaughter on her birthday on Tuesday.

Again, with the belated birthday greetings!!!  Happy 23!

In the end, that's why this post is a week late!  (clicking on the pictures should make them larger)

So until the next peripatetic post... ta!

The return of the great pumpkin,...

Well, O.K.

This year our pumpkins were not SO great, but we had a fun time anyway carving them and being silly with our favorite substitute grandchildren.

Our friend, E,  who now lives in Holland comes to visit family a couple of times a year.  (we're extended family, particularly near Halloween!)

So T carved away, whilst the little ones designed their ideas and tweaked their finished product.

 There was great concentration and much ooh-ing and ahh-ing for the finished results.

I was not a participant as someone needed to document the proceedings...

[Meanwhile, Mr. Pumpkin Head is choosing to remain anonymous. ]



In spite of the weather periodically spitting and dripping on us, (there were bouts of sunshine as well) we all had a marvelous time.

The pumpkin family seemed content as well.

We got a little carried away with "costumes" as we had brought a "bag O' animal noses" back from the States, for everyone to try on, which certainly helped the festive Halloween atmosphere.

There was much silliness and miming of animal behaviors....

and noises!

really cute faces all around

Though as T mentioned, "An ornament finds its own tree"...                  

(And yes, it WAS a bad hair day...)         

And with the rain....

Comes the power cuts and electricity challenges – as well as the odd disappearance of the DSL connection!

The day after my previous post, on a bright sunny day, the power went off from 8 to 1 (ish) in the afternoon! Supposedly they “fixed” all sorts of problems, and our power was supposedly 'good to go'.

Then we had rain and lightening and thunder...

~~~

storm damage

Currently, we only have partial power- 1 phase of a 3 phase system- as a transformer near our house was hit by lightening and sadly appears to be dangerously broken. I say dangerously, because some of our neighbors (who are also with only partial electricity) watched the shower of sparks arc all night long from their living room window!

Several neighbors have no electricity, and one neighbor hasn't be affected at all. (I think out of spite we may all descend on his house for dinner!)

a tiny problem

I am sure soon, we'll have no electricity “if” they decide to come and fix it as they will probably have to shut it down to work on it.

(Of course I say “IF” because when one of the neighbors called to report the problem, he was told “there IS no problem!”, in that charming Greek way, as they are wont to do whenever “foreigners” call with problems. They usually presume it is a minor problem of fuses that we apparently don't know how to change or maybe even master fuses tripped and left unattended. We now have a Greek friend calling to report the problem and hopefully -eventually- someone will come out and see IF there is a problem. I just hope it's before the general strike next Tuesday!!)

good thing the flue is clean

Still we manage quite comfortably, and made our first roaring fire in the fireplace to cheer us up.

Meanwhile, the house is criss-crossed with cables to provide electricity to the fridge and freezers as well as jury rig a connection to the dryer so we can dry the “dog towels” (the poor puppies NEED to go out and play in the rain and MUST come in the house- soaked to the skin!- and sleep for a while).

~~~

Which brings me round to what my post was REALLY going to be about today...

In all the hectic craziness since our return from Istanbul (see, NOW I'm going to tell you what really happened between my post about our wonderful trip to Turkey, and my time in Chicago!)I felt I should update you on some of the things that happened to make me not post...

Amazing Balou

Sadly, our great and wonderful Bernese dog, Balou died in early April, from a malignant growth in her neck that had become inoperable. We were devastated, and if it would have only been me, I would have probably decided to never get a dog again, as it hurts so badly when you lose them!

T on the other hand had been talking for a couple of months, about getting another dog to keep Balou company- a puppy this time,-and he had found what was purported to be a Chow - German shepherd mix, he'd fallen in love with.

So at the end of April, we went to pick up what we thought was one 3 month old puppy.

such sweet babies

Long story short, we ended up with TWO puppies, because the second (and last) puppy would never have got adopted as she was very timid and fearful and didn't look anything like a shepherd.

I decided that it would be cruel to leave her behind so... (how do these things happen??) we ended up with two puppies.

After we got them home, we realized that they were great “medicine” for missing Balou, and they made us laugh constantly, and were smart and wanted to try and learn from and about us.

We also discovered that they were a bit older than advertised, by about an additional six weeks! The Chow and the German Shepherd parents must have been small by all standards as the pups are very much mid sized dogs.

Their names are Rosie and Ginger.

Rosie

Rosie is the intrepid one and has a HUGE amount of energy (we refer to her as the “mad bee” when she starts her flat eared sprints around the garden and us – and Ginger). Rosie “looks” the part of watchdog, but she is very friendly and will come to the fence and greet anyone. The dog has no discrimination. She is fascinated by everything and never wants the walks to end. She is totally motivated by food and can be trained to do anything – with enough chicken on offer.

Ginger

Ginger is very stand-offish with strangers and barks and growls and is pretty much a great watch dog. She is at heart though, what could be termed a “couch potato” dog. 

With us she's a big slob and will always slide from a sit to a lie down if she can. She tolerates going for “walkies” but mostly because it seems to please Rosie so much. She's not very adaptable with strangers and hates when we have company. She does things because she wants to or she feels sorry for us. She is NOT motivated by food or treats.

holding paws while cat watching

They are completely devoted to eachother and play fight, play hide and seek, doggie tag and of course tease eachother constantly. If one is out of sight of the other they go “hunting” for the other one. 

They've completely settled in and even were silly and fun company when our first houseguests of the year arrived mid May.

Sadly, right after our friends left (around the 22 of May) I was thrust into the panic of my mother's brain tumor and booking my flight to Chicago to be with my mother for her surgery.

When I returned in August, I was worried that the puppies wouldn't remember me, or that they wouldn't pay any attention to me, and I'd have to start from the beginning with the basics. NOT SO! They greeted me like a long lost friend and everything's gone swimmingly since I've been home!

Three weeks after I returned from the States, T flew back to the US to visit the boys and his brothers and sisters and cousins. We'd originally planned to fly together for the visit (it's been ages since we've traveled back to the US together, just for fun!) but that was before my mother's problems, so we adapted, and split our trips.

T left and it was me alone with the dogs... we had a great time together, and I needed to be alone in my own space for a while. They were very sympathetic and gave me cuddles when I needed them.

They slept in their doggie beds in our room at night and snored so I wouldn't miss T, too much.

So finally it brings me round in an odd way, to our "right now" life in Corfu.

Things change, and they remain the same.

restart to blog, i think...

the first raindrops fall, and suddenly the season changes

All is well, and I think I have figured out how to post my pictures without too much trouble... If only I didn't have to LEARN so many new computer things, she says plaintively.  (I keep repeating, "FileZilla is my friend".) 

Corfu is wonderful at this time of year.  Well, it's lovely at any time of year, but this time is my favorite because the blistering heat seems to break overnight and the temperatures drop into the exceptionally pleasant range.

Every day we have amazing sunrises and sunsets and glorious cloud formations that may or may not bring rain.  Well they bring rain, it's just you never know where.  This island seems to be a mass of micro climates!

For instance, last week T called from the village on his way home to remind me to bring in the cushions from the veranda chairs as he got soaked while picking up bread at the bakery.  It was bucketing down rain - three miles from the house!  I was in gorgeous sunshine, and laughed when he told me to hurry.  The rain never hit the house that day, it seemed we were a little mini island of "dry", as it just dropped its glory on everyone around us.

~~~

Meanwhile, on a more personal update: I'm alright.  I'm starting to sleep regularly.  I get sad at least once a day (sometimes I get really sad), but I'm managing to think about the good memories and the happy times, and of course I remember how much my mother loved Corfu as well.  I'll probably mention how I feel once in a while, but mostly I guess, I'll still be writing about my life and times here on the island, or maybe about our travels.

[If you are very lucky, I might even  get around to finishing the picture story of our travels to Istanbul last winter!  Yes, I know, lots of stuff to remember to do, SOooo many things to finish.]

I'll probably be mentioning the pitfalls of the project I've taken on... I'm going through all my mother's photo albums and I'll be choosing, and trying to scan enough pictures of her life into  a presentation for a memorial we'll be having with family, and my mother's special friends sometime in the Spring.

Right now I'm just at the 'looking at pictures' phase, but I'm going to have to figure out what kind of computer program I will use to put together a nice slide show presentation. Sigh.  My technology learning curve will be challenged yet again...

It's nice to be back.

setting off the seagulls

Yes, I'm still out here in the virtual nether world... couldn't find any words to write sooner though. 

Not everything has been horrible.  Thank god my sons are there for me.  They have all been amazing, taking different burdens from my shoulders.

Rough week packing things up.  Had a few "wobblies", that's what I call them. They're just those moments that blindside you and leave you gutted. 

Cleaning out drawers, going through closets.  A lifetime in stuff.  Hers and mine.  (drawback of being an only child, with a slightly symbiotic parent-child relationship, I guess...)

All the little "bits" that each hold a story that makes me smile and remember.  Then finding an odd bit that can't be placed that has a story she hadn't had time to share... and wishing she could tell me the story.

~~~~

Today, I needed to take a day "off".  I realized that - pretty much since the 11th of June I've not had more than a few hours break from being with my mother.  And the whole past week has been spent dealing with her stuff- yes, now my stuff.

So.  I went to the dentist, there to spend an hour getting my teeth cleaned and another hour and a half getting a few little things fixed.  (one more 45 minute session to go...) Still not bad for not having been to a dentist for a few (5?)years.

On the way out from the dentist I noticed a nice place to get a manicure/pedicure.  I decided that between the multiple broken nails on both my hands and the callus on my heels, it was probably about time for a session.  When I was finished I went to the grocery store next door and picked up the makings for a simple dinner. (I don't remember the last time I cooked a nice simple meal!)

I stopped off on the way home and had a light lunch and when I got back to sainted middle son's apartment I managed to do a few things, put the food from the store away, get a big glass of water, pick up a magazine and sit down in the "comfy chair".  I sat down and then promptly fell asleep in the chair for about an hour and a half. 

My next foray into excitement was to turn my computer on and play Angry Birds- a game, of course, to which I've become addicted (along with farmville...)

So now it's come to the end of my rather mindless day. (we had a lovely dinner, thank you)

Tomorrow I will go back and sort through more things and get as organized as possible for an up coming trip to Michigan on Thursday. 

We (using the royal we, as sainted middle son will be driving the rental truck, loaded by he and organized youngest son) will  take Oldest son gifts of a sofa, credenza, the desk, and desk chair, and a couple of other chairs and lamps.  I will be driving backup car filled to the gills with other stuff, following rental truck so we have a way back home to Chicago...

Interspersed in all this, sainted middle son's apartment will host houseguests while we are away, and so I will be interacting with new people as well.  They arrive Wednesday I think.  I will have to pack up my whole room so they can have a place to stay.

~~~

It would seem that this little oasis of a "do-nothing" day was wisely chosen...

"The whole is more than the sum of all parts." Aristotle

HENRIETTE “RICKEY” HARDY, 86, of Lincolnwood, IL, died Saturday, July 23 at Evanston Hospital, from complications following surgery.

Rickey was born June 13, 1925, in Brussels, Belgium, daughter of Henriette and Louis Breuer. She studied art and design at the Institute de Beaux Arts in Brussels.

Rickey married Raymond Andrew Starr in 1947, who preceded her in death in 1959. They emigrated to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Rickey was a successful Interior Designer in Michigan from the 1950’s to the 1970’s.

In 1975 she married Kenneth Hardy and moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, which was to remain her home for the next 35 years. Mr. Hardy died shortly after the move and Rickey became part of the community in Santa Fe, managing several successful art galleries.

Her partner of 25 years, Joseph Sommer, died in 2006, and Rickey moved into Ponce de Leon retirement community in Santa Fe and made many close friends there, until 2010, when she moved to Lincolnwood Place in the Chicago area, to be nearer to her family.

She is survived by her daughter, Jessica-Marie (Tom) Schafer; her grandsons Toby, Andrew, and Nick Schafer; her sister Marie-Louise Dehou of Brussels; her nephew Raymond (Maryse) Dehou; her great-grandchildren, Alexa, Cole, and Gabriel; and legions of devoted and loving friends.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Humane Society of the US, Dept MEMIT9, 2100 L St. NW, Washington, DC 20037. Memorial services will be private.

Family Gathering

Son "number one", as my mother often charmingly referred to him, arrived today to sit by me and keep me company for the day by my mother's bedside.  This afternoon, youngest son ("number 3") came and about and hour later middle son ("number 2") stepped into the room as well.


We all visited with my mother.  This mostly consisting of the normal repartee and banter back and forth between the brothers try to out charm each other (as they do) and get her attention, and then told her they were sweeping me off to dinner.

At 6:30 I was taken off to Tommy Nevins, there, to enjoy a fine pint of Guinness and a Caesar Salad.  As son number 3 had arrived with lovely Liz and grandson Gabriel, we made a party for a couple of hours.

I returned to discover that no one had missed me and that mom had been carefully turned in her bed, received her medications and been properly looked after while I was away.

~~~

Not much of a change today since yesterday, except that her temperature spiked a bit in the nighttime (up to 100.8) and her blood pressure dropped a bit (88/63) as well.  Her gurgling continues though the nurses have been conscientiously suctioning out the build up of secretions in her throat when they become overwhelming.

For the most part, during the day today, she went back down with the fever (to 99) and her blood pressure came back up (113/80).  Everyone is amazed at her endurance, but she is coming to the end of her strength and of course also becoming prey to the infection that was running in her system from three weeks ago. 

Fixing the infection is not an option, at this point, and would go against her "do not resuscitate" orders.  She specifically requested no further invasive procedures. 

~~~

I found a picture of the two of us, that I really liked from last summer, after we moved her from Santa Fe to Chicago.  It reminded me of another wonderful weekend night family party in a restaurant not far from here called  Hopleaf. 

We chose it that night because it had Belgian specialties and we figured my mother would enjoy it (her being Belgian/American and all).

As it was a loud, busy and packed venue, she got to do what she so often enjoyed doing, people watch. 

At some point while we were waiting for our table and the boys had gone to fetch us a beer, she said something to me like "Oh Honey, I think I'm the oldest person in this whole place!"

I told her that as always she was really the same age as all these people, just trapped in an older body. 

Not forgetting

When you spend time as a patient in a hospital you stop becoming yourself.  Instead you become a disease or a procedure. 

You walk around with a gown that opens in the back and wear socks with stickums on the bottom so you don't slip.  It's a depersonalizing place usually. 

mom and me 1949

The Palliative care unit certainly tries hard to break thru that barrier, but you are in a hospital bed with catheters and IV drips and medicine you need to get at regularly scheduled times. 

Remembering who the person who occupies the bed really is not an easy task.  (They've never seen you in real clothes!)

The nurses here on this floor try very hard, as do the Nurse-assistants, the Residents and of course the Hospice staff. 

playing doctor

But you're still in a hospital. 

The overflow of that hosptalized mentality hits me as well, as I am a part of what the Hospice people come to treat.  I know that's not strictly true, but I feel so much like a bug on a petri dish sometimes.

Sometimes I don't want to be "the grieving family member".  Sometimes I'd like to be a crazy dancer or an ex-race car driver.  Sometimes the sympathy is just too much. 

I am getting really tired of the phrase, "it's all right to cry". 

So. 

Today is a plateau day.  My mother has stopped her descent and is in a holding pattern for a while with her blood pressure low but not yet dangerous, gurgling, but not choking, and finally  she's been having a fever but it's not gone over 99 yet, so we all wait.  I gave my sons the evening off from coming and looking solemn while at the same time feeling slightly ghoulish for not being able to interact with her.

~~~

we matched sort of

after my dad died

After my little outburst, of raging against the world,  today I decided to go through some of my scanned old family pictures on my back up hard drive, and found some great mom and me shots.

OK.  I found LOTS of mom and me shots, but I figured I'd share a few of them, mostly for me to remember this person of so many facets who made me laugh at myself and at life. 

It was really nice having the pictures to look at, and I'm so glad I scanned them all into my computer 2 days before I flew to Santa Fe back in 2007 for her back surgery.
 
Even as she lies on this hospital bed and snores and gurgles and sighs her "ohhhh's" she was someone completely different 6 weeks ago, someone closer to the interesting woman in these pictures.

(Well, except for the snoring part...)